The Young Lady of the Valley
Once upon a time, atop a mountain far away, there lived a great king who oversaw all the lands. The king had anything and everything he could possibly dream of, including Crohn's Disease (which he wished he'd never dreamt about).
One crisp autumn day while picking apples in his orchard, his guards ran up to him to deliver a message of great importance.
"Your majesty, your humble servants have come upon something new which you have yet to own or dream of!"
The king, skeptical, yet intrigued inquired of this thing.
The guards motioned for her to come forward, and forward she came. A beautiful woman fit for a king, her hair as long as the reeds lining the riverside. Her eyes as radiant as the sun on a mid-summer afternoon, her lips as sweet as the finest nectar, and her bosom as full as the kingdom's granaries.
"What have you brought me that I have not already owned or dreamed of?", snarked the king. "You have indeed brought to me but a queen, to which I have plenty!"
Eager to please the king, the guards asked him to ask of her name.
"What is your name young lady of the valley?", asked the king.
She smiled, but remained silent.
"WHAT IS YOUR NAME I ASKED OF YOU MADAM?", the king bellowed.
Still smiling, she remained silent.
The king stumbled backwards in shock.
Indeed, he had found something he had never owned nor dreamed of, for she was a bitch that wouldn't talk back.
The end.