Christmas Eve in Dodgetown

As Christmas Eve fell upon the sleepy town of Dodgetown, all it's residents gathered at the local church. Pastor Blanton had a long-standing tradition of giving his sermon past midnight, and into the wee hours of the morning so that Billy McDoogle, the jolly town drunk, had time to deliver all the Christmas presents to all the homes.

But when 2am struck with no sign of Billy, Pastor Blanton knew he'd probably got sidetracked with a bottle of whiskey.

Moments later the church doors swung open and Billy stumbled in. The smell of alcohol blanketed the room, a smell everyone knew all too well whenever Billy entered.

"Ho Ho Ho come sit on my lap Pastor," slurred Billy.

Ignoring the drunken outburst, Pastor Blanton continued on with his sermon.

"I said, Ho Ho Ho. Come sit on my lap Pastor," an agitated Billy demanded.

Again trying to not bring any further attention to Billy, Pastor Bishop continued on with his sermon but he couldn't shake the growing curiosity of what it might feel like to sit on Billy's lap. So he made his way over to Billy and took a seat, right on his lap.

Without warning, Billy reached into his coat and pulled out a family of ferrets, dropping them into Pastor Bishop's pants!

The ferrets ran up his rectum, all the way up until they jumped out of his mouth.

The enthralled congregation gave a standing ovation for the wonderful party trick, but little did they know, one ferret got lost inside of Pastor Bishop's body, and out of fear, it vomited, which would ultimately lead to sepsis and an agonizing death.

The End.